Even though Man City don carry Cup Chelsea na still the oga kpata kpata for England. Yes..na me talk am and I no mind sey na dem carry nyansh siddon or Nomba 6 on the table.
But before unna don think sey I don shayo..make unna cool tempa and hear me out.
If we want talk true the drama of this season for Chelsea..no be today o! Na from last season E begin..because ordinary teaspoon we no win, talk less of plate or cup.
For a team like Chelsea dat na like a renouned picketpocket breaking into Oshodi market at night with no security and coming out with absolutely nothing. In oda words a complete No-No!
Me sef as I siddon so na all five fingers for my left hand I been use to predict the minimum number of players wey Chelsea go buy...and sell comot. 5 in..5 out - na simple Maths. So when the window open I begin lick lips like Agama wey see fly and drool like partycrasher wey don somehow make am to the High Table.Moutinho, Alvaro Perreira,Falcao, Hulk, Luca Modric, Van der Wiel, Kevin DeBryune, Eden Hazard, Thibaut Courtois, Azpilicueta, Juan Mata, Lucas Moura....na so my mind just dey waka.
But wetin come happen ? AvB just do like say Chelsea money na from him own Account e dey come and wetin him buy? Only one person Juan ! Okay two if dem add Mereiles put.. and ontop of dat....we carry Benayoun dash Arsenal for loan..chei! So na wiff fingers and toes crossed I just dey pray as season begin.
In fact everybody wey dey wear Blue just tanda dey wait to see wetin this our so called magician coach go carry this team do.
AvB been do well in the beginning to be fair.Team dey attack, we dey score boku goal, even Bosingwa wey we wan offload before begin dey look sharp, and we dey collect correct number of points. Na only Torres wey dem take better juju pin.
And we come get one other small but big problem wey come enta becos as we begin dey use highline,our defence begin to leak like where gap teeth dey spray saliva or try to hold Ogbono soup! Also, as coach come dey rely more and more on speed e begin mean say some "old soldja" for team go kack for bench so small pikin wey never get beer belle go fit play. Na there the wahala begin.
Lampard begin vex, Anelka begin grumble, Drogba body language begin change and Kalou sef start to dey whisper to Arsene Wenger sey he no go mind to waka ! The wahala escalate more. Coachito begin drop guys wey vex am..so tey he sell Anelka wey no like rice comot go farfar China ! By Febuary Chelsea don slide down outside top four...and as if dat one no do am reach....when we come face Napoli..in Napoli...the coach bobo no even try rally him troops to at least make this one happen.
If I remember correctly my spoon na him come drop back into my peppersoup as I read our starting lineup and I come dey ask if AvB head dey house so. I mean not only did the bobo camp a combined 20+ years of Champions League experience on the bench but against a mobile team like Napoli wey fit run likee Okada all day him no gree play a holding midfielder.Honestly it was more comical than Basketmouth ! I wan laff but I no fit so na sidon look we just dey till the new head mechanik Robert DiMatteo finally enta. As we come face Barca my pipul, here the real drama start.
The tin wey sweet me die pass for this whole Barcelona v Chelsea thing na how my non-Chelsea friends been write us off like Molue wey Lastman don catch. Nothing wey me I no hear. "Messi no be Lavessi O...he go flog una die!""Xavi go take Mikel drink akamu so E go comot for him nostrils!""Cech go tink sey na basketball him dey play!"...on and on. But wetin come happen ? Chelsea approach the game wiff defensive style and thanks to Ramires breakaway and cross to Drogba , Chelsea win dat match 1-0! E just be like say NEPA bring light for two straight days. Like magic ! Stage set for return leg.
You go think say my non-Chelsea friends go don learn but no dem return again with mouth wey dey run like open tap. "Na luck una take win! Una park 15 Ekenedilichukwus infront of Goal." "For Spain field go big pass ya own so dem go stretch U die!""Una go hear wien for Nou Camp!" E no stop O sotee I no gree pick phone anymore.
Game day come arrive again and so did our warriors. This time na armored car we park (na so dem talk o!) Barca begin dia usual tikitaka....and after some drama..gbam..dem shake net..1-0! Then to make matters worse..John Terry chop red card because him try shake persin hand wey no want..and not long after dat..gbam..dem shake net again..2-0! Chei! And just as I begin vex waka comot to go kick my neighbor dog..na him I see Ramires run enter dem side "whats your height" dem yeye goalkeeper to shake dia net.2-1..game on!
2nd half and the magic come continue. Messi miss pk but I no go lie dem continue to enter us...and we continue to repair our parked bus or Ferret wey dem don skatta windscreen and dent wiff passes ...and na then ie happun O !
Cole boot ball up...and with all of Barca insai our half..na him Torres wey don take holy water bath... collect ball with real estate the size of Ibadan market infront of him. As El Nino pick race na so all of Catalonia try to chase am. But for where ? As E reach goalie him just negotiate am like Taxi dey round Tinubu square and...hehehe..SHAKE NET!!! 2-2 game over!! Chelsea win against a team wey dey flog Manu U steady like wey Mobile dey flog thief.
So na so we take enter Champion's league final. Oh..by the way we skatta Liverpool to win FA Cup along the way. We push for top four but we no make am. But that na the easy way. So to kwalify for Champions League next year na to go Munich go beat Bayern Munich for their own parlor! That one na the hard way and na him we pick. So at the end of the day na we go hold two cups and this na why we're THE ABSOLUTE BEST IN THE LAND !
Ranka deydey Blues !
By Olufisayo Fakunle